Emotion Four: Emotional Nuances and More

Our emotions are not who we are. They are an energetic component of our original design that deepens and broadens our experience in this Earthly dimension when allowed to. The challenge is that they have been restricted and morphed by the consequences and compromises made in successive lives, especially through the Piscean Age and others before. The incarnational loss of awareness that leaves each feeling alone and abandoned by Source opens up the journey to many nuances that systematically develop into personal paradigms that scream  “this is who I Am”!

It is from the moments of living and the global reactions to the movement of emotion that so many permutations of emotions have become a widely accepted wash of limited thinking, though most see them as the way it is, not an exception. From the  parent emotions of Love and Fear come all the other expressions that have risen out of the attempt to explain experiences and a limited view of our own design. The other basic emotions of anger, sadness, grief, and joy are definable variations of the two. While an important list of others I am casting as nuances of emotion as they are inconsistent expressions that are more reflective of the path and experience of the individual than a group dynamic, though many do express similar behaviors.

These nuances are shame, guilt, disgust/judgment/contempt/hatred, jealousy, boredom/apathy, overwhelm, abandonment, anxiety, and awe. Remember that the original design is about experience and clearing. Emotions provide an energetic juice that is blended with the uniqueness of personal experience to create something that has meaning for the individual. If the body is allowed to do its design work then the emotion moves in becoming a feeling and has its life and moves out, leaving behind the experiential memory. It is when the energy is not allowed to flow that the storing begins which leads to the gray area that gives rise historically and personally to the nuances of all of these variations.

All of the above seem more than just nuances in life. Many are impacting our moments of living profoundly. Yet, each shows up in individuals with a certain flavor based on the life before the now, especially in childhood, where many of these are learned as survival tools, in that twisted sort of way. Though it may seem far fetched, each is primarily a choice to invest in. Their prevention is entirely possible through awareness and application of that awareness. And, indeed, here lies the strategy of reclaiming our emotional and energetic balance, clearing the misconception and then clearing the energetic residue memory on all levels.

For the Inner Child, these nuance emotions are introduced “as needed” based on the personal experiences and circumstances, learnings, programming, and beliefs. Given an emotionally literate home that was supportive of the true design then there would be no need for or experience of these feelings at all. That is predominantly not the case in the Western world at least. So there is value in discussing them briefly.

But first, a few words about the foundational frequency of Love. This energetic substance is resonating at a high frequency, completely malleable, for it is the fabric of the Cosmos itself. The benevolence of creation gave us the antidote to any lower vibration built right into the stuff of life, matter itself. It is a slight turning of the heart that reveals the Light of All permeating the moment given by Grace. We see what we see, determined in a large part by the degree of our holding on capacity, our reservoir of energetic flotsam and jetsam, our clinging worn out beliefs, our disconnected lifeline to our own past…you get the picture. What do you see? It is all there, the totality right before us…and we get to choose. Love is everywhere longing to be seen but not really giving a shit…because it all works out in the end..as we all shall see.

In every mirror there is the reflected program of what we have bought into as well as the truth of our being. What do you see? If you knew that in everything that happens there is contained also the gift and the beauty and the higher frequency message how would you embrace your moments? Love heals. It salves over every wound no matter the severity. It opens the refrigerator door and gives us all the sustenance we could ever desire or need. How do you see the world? How have you filtered it to fit what you bought into along the way to up until now?

Could it be that by being aware enough of the now that you could tilt your heart to spill out the wash of Love that would make whatever it is all better? Is it possible that the Creative Source made the Truth of us that easy to find? And if I claim I Am Love with all my being then the forms shall fall away to leave Here I Am sitting on the curb smiling at the majesty of the flow of life? Yes, yes, yes…

The gift of emotion is to let us immerse in the grand variety of the pure vibration of the substance of life. It all sources out of Love for that is all there is. Make it what you will. Make it hard and make it painful if you must. In the big picture, in the end, it just does not matter. And, yet, I understand, that to most of us, for the time being, it does matter…and so we must look at these nuances to get how the emotional pureness adapts to what we require.

 So…let’s look at these and see how it all intertwines. And let’s cut corners and choose right now to view all of this from the central chamber of the heart, sitting right next to and holding hands with, our precious inner child self. It will make a mighty difference…

Abandonment

Not a defined emotion but it is an issue that resides in some form in most of humanity. Due to the original incarnational issues of loss of conscious Source connection and separation from the perfect nurturing home (womb) we are impacted with the abandonment energy at the onset.

What is underneath this nuance energy is the sense of unworthiness or lack of value. Being left behind, undesirable, alone, or not cherished is part of the wash of issues that can stem from the original dimensional wounding.

It is useful to realize that the shifts at birth that jettison us into our own unique journey are simply part of the design. The shock of leaving what we left is amplified because we are in physical body where so much is felt in new, yet familiar ways. The slap on the hind end that has been a traditional entrance ritual of the Piscean times shocks us into being in body, as if it is not transitionally challenging enough already. So, knowing the source of this ennui and emptiness/longing is actually very important in that it can divert us from the historical assumption that we are not valued or wanted. It is this kind of re-education that gives the inner child license to surrender the controlling belief/pattern that keeps the forms in place.

Most, if not all, healing is an inside job. And in these times it is more about waking up to allow the design to take precedence and thus replace all of the historical gyrations of understanding we tend to carry along…as baggage actually. Understanding the source of what is feeding the belief/pattern/experience is essential to freeing the stuck energy that is attached.

And, like all of these nuance emotions, it comes down to replacing the ignorance with the pure vibration of Love. This is a conscious choice. It involves replacing the loss with the nurturing hands of the adult self in the name of self care in a consistent manner. Understanding the parameters of the dimension frees us up to then provide the care we desire and need. This cleans out the wounds and sets us into a life without the undercurrent of abandonment running the show.

Additionally, it comes down to practicing full bodied awareness as well. Noticing when the feeling of aloneness and emptiness and longing and yearning show themselves, one can turn a loving, compassionate, and understanding hand towards that part of our child calling.

And, finally, especially with this core wounding it is necessary to chose to live in and from the Heart Center. This allows us to choose Love first. Feeling precedes thought in many cases. Learning to think from the heart will allow you to catch the energy of the nuance emotion as it attempts to infiltrate the moment, creating the point of choice where you can divert the flow into the crucible of warm understanding. And, yes, it is a choice that you can make. So choose it from now on…

Anxiety

Most of humanity is numbed out and has been for thousands of years. For a variety of reasons most have been taught to mistrust feelings and to put a damper on the feeling, recognition, understanding, and expression of them. We have been taught to live from the head,as if our being dwelled there. And this has had a damaging cost on our connection with our body self on all levels.

Perhaps the Fall of Man was when he lost connection with the feeling world and the body was cut off from the head down. Not feeling anything became the standard as a good body is one that has no sensations. Couple that with the rising perspective that if something is noticed then likely something is wrong. This precipitates the need to seek assistance and explanation with the intent of getting rid of it.

Enter the medical professions who, at least in the West, are highly invested in making sure that there is no sensation in the body. Pills are the historical panacea that turns off the annoying sensations. The irony here is that the sensations, though temporarily and successfully masked, will find another more demanding channel of expression eventually…it is in the design, for goodness sakes.

With the separation of the mind, body, and emotions there is additional challenge. Strictly physical is one thing…mask it or take it out. Mental and emotional are another pesky thing. Culturally, emotion is denied en masse so when it dares to surface the prescription is to force it out of awareness, usually via pills. And as far as the mind goes, this is, indeed, a slippery slop. Up until the late 1950’s it was culturally frowned upon to do any kind of counseling or therapy as it was considered weak. Those who dared slip into expanding the mind into the body and emotion often faced a difficult journey that too often ended in institutionalization. The message to all was to not admit anything.

And yet, the body is designed to release the energetic debris stored by ignoring and denying the natural flow and release of emotion. So, no matter how much it is squashed, the wisdom of the design will prevail.

Thus anxiety…the current energetic understanding is that the annoying, sometimes overwhelming sensations that occur in the body, where noting is supposed to be felt, is but the movement of the energy forcing its way out in the name of balance and clarity. The tinglings, the sensations, the buzzing all are the movement of the energy directed by the body wisdom. When one knows this and allows it, she soon sees that it moves and clears, in a relatively short time table of its own. Any interference, especially though medication, will result in the eventual intensification of symptomologies.

We can be walked through anxiety and reach the other side. The body waking up requires adjustment and embracing of the vitalizing process.

The body is vibration, incessantly moving and changing and replicating. To silence it is the utmost foolishness. We learn to feel by feeling. Anxiety is not an emotion, but rather a direct body signal that it is saturated with unexpressed emotional debris and will not hold it any longer. Let it out. Stop trying to hold back the river. Surrender to the sensations and immerse your self into them to befriend them and experience the blessing of the release. For on the other side of that flow lie the loving ponds of life expressed fully.

And, yes, Love is at play here. The foundation higher frequency of life is pushing you to release the blockages and return home to the heart. Living in that heart space and experiencing the sensations through it, in fact, running the energy through it, will bless you with a peaceful understanding…if you want.

Communicate with the sensations. Ask them what they have to share, teach, and show. Walk with them and lead them to the gates of release and hug them on to the wide open expanse where you were meant to live. Again it is a choice…make it.

The body that is alive is a remarkable thing, unparalleled in the entire Cosmos. It is why you chose to incarnate here. So, get on with living, and open up to feeling every moment in all of its multidimensional, multi sensorial, full bodied glory!

Awe

Not all of the nuance emotions are of a lower frequency. Some are expansions of the pure Love frequency and the are a sub category of the joyful state. There is more to life than we have allowed. As one opens up their vibration by clearing the energetic debris of the past, the panorama of life’s expanse and wonder begins to reveal itself.

A natural state of the untarnished child is wonder and awe. The in the moment discovery of an element of life is cause for sensorial celebration and a deepening of the engagement with the dimension itself. Before imagination and wonder are civilized out of the child to prepare them to be worker bees every moment of life is a revelation. Replete with the uninhibited design elements the child is able to experience the ever changing forms of living in glorious ways. The discoveries are dimensional and invite blossoming of the possibilities and burst open the world of creation.

The more one is open the more there is to experience. Each experience is an exponential permutation of the previously restricted relationship. The process feeds itself and like so many of these new energetic concepts they open doors upon doors upon doors in a seemingly incessant revelatory journey. And, in a very real way, this opening reacquaints us with the intention behind the grand design of the Earthly plane: to experience the fullness of it as a spiritual being living in the physical.

Being in awe is to regain the total experience of the current form, to be inspired by the waking up sensations of connecting on energetic levels with a gift from the Cosmic moment, to tap into an aligned connection with your true design. Why on Earth would we not want to be here all the time? Hallucinogenic substances open those doors temporarily. The moments of living can pull apart the veiled curtains to reveal flashes of the truth as well. Spiritual practices with breath and brain waves and inner focus can transport us into Cosmic playgrounds of the true design too.  Yet it is the actual clearing of debris to allow the cells to reveal the remembrance of who we have always been that is the most impactful, and lasting.

Love is the foundation that directs us into wonder and awe. The high frequency energy of that divine substance peels back the misunderstanding to bless us with the grace of what is actually there. We see with an open heart that in turn calls the senses to expanded action that is in alignment with their actual capacities. Everything responds to Love. Our inner being has been patiently waiting for the influx of that frequency. No cell has forgotten its roots. No tissue would dare turn its back on its essence for that is in many ways, the purpose for being here…remember and experience the all encompassing glory.

Awe comes when one is clear and clean of the past debris, when one has chosen the heart as the home, when one is reacquainted with the child-like joy and wonder, when one has reclaimed and reaccessed the infinite well of the imagination, when one chooses to see beyond the forced paradigm of limitation, when one truly says yes to living here in this body in this place called Earth.

Boredom/Apathy

When one grows weary of the struggle to stay in limitation and find no beauty in life, one becomes apathetic and reaches a self selected state called boredom. Loosing interest in continuing the charade  about who we are is actually a pivotal point on one’s journey of reawakening. It is the precursor to the fertile ground necessary to activate creativity.

When one is so entrenched in the forms of the daily routine, so dulled by the static comfort zone, so numbed out in feeling, so driven by the patterns, thoughts, and beliefs that have distracted the celestial mind within each of us, then one is a prime candidate for an apathetic dance into boredom.

No matter what we are feeling or thinking there is always the infinite palette of possibilities calling from the within and the without. Each moment is a choice away from unbridled delight. There is so much to do and to see and to experience no matter where you live and work and act.

One loses their chutzpah when they grow weary of the routine, when they see no light at the end of the tunnel, when they descend into hopelessness…nothing inspires, nothing beckons, nothing reaches out for us, nothing is special,…the nothing simply consumes and steals our spark. Then we have no impetus to initiate any movement and establish momentum.

In a world with endless things to do it is hard for someone to look into the host of invitations and not feel something. But when you swallow life over and over there is nothing that is sweet anymore. And you give up, become apathetic, and sigh a lot in the temporary prison of boredom.

And yet, there is another perspective. Could it be that boredom is the limbo state between very different planes of expression. When one has grown weary of the forms of one’s life that they lose interest they are a a significant point of choice. The inactivity spawned by apathy and boredom can actually be an incubation zone where one pulls deeper energetic resources that ride the waves of these times. It may be the quiet respite when one surrenders and gets out of one’s own way to allow the reawakening design to actually begin infiltrating the being from within.

From the bored state the phoenix arises and instigates energetic rebellion that invites in a whole new plane of action and exploration and adventure.

Suppose that there is simply no flaw in the design of us or the dimension. Every single element that is and is called forth has a purpose in the great experience of life on Earth. And since Love is the ever present fountain that nourishes all, then all is a mirroring of that essence and thus contains, as I have stated, the antidote for its current form. There are no accidents. The truly awake one who lives from the heart sees the big picture or at least entertains the revelation that there is so much more than meets the first impulse.

The emotional pure energy that enters at the backside of the Sacral Chakra is put into personalized motion by each of us to color the moments of living, to be the sauce for our feast, the music for our dance…it is there anyway, flooding into us to kick our butts into living. It is our personal duty to commit ourselves to feeling all of life, all the nuances, the extremes, the highs, the lows and the infinite in-between. This is the ticket we punched…and the child knows it all and has been semi-patiently waiting for the rest of our being to catch up. Well, my dear friend, this is the day….wake up!  

Disgust/Judgment/Contempt/Hatred

Swallowing and storing emotional energy is an exercise in creating conditions, patterns, and beliefs, typically ones that do not serve the greater you in any way except to create a life of increased stress. Though the body wisdom provides a system of design that is remarkably expansive, sustaining, and capable, it does have its own set of limits. Tissue will only provide so much space for the reservoir of toxicity; the cells will eventually regurgitate the debris; the nervous system, despite being a loyal servant who created the neural pathways that set the patterns in motion, will eventually short circuit; the chakras will only slow down in frequency to the “no more” limit before they assist in manifest the condition/disease that will finally get your attention to initiate the clearing process.

We can go to some very sour places before the system takes over on our behalf. Not everyone listens. Some are so invested in being “who they are” that they resist mightily any opportunity to be and live otherwise. Thus the actual gravestone that had carved in stone for eternity, “See, I told you I was sick”…

When we are so full of our debris and have infused a significant amount of lower frequency into our tissues it is quite possible that we begin to turn this energy outward, thus, sadly, reinforcing a life of specific forms that reflect the energy…for now.

At some point our personal storehouse begins to judge the world, finding fault with others to feel somewhat better about the self. Disgust is a first reaction to something undesirable that must be pushed away from our field of experience. Though it can be useful when we respond to events or people who morally corrupt or oblivious to fellow travelers, it is primarily a way of creating further isolation and fluffing up one’s sense of “better than you-ness”. Often we use disgust as a moral outrage compass that backfires on us in that it separates us from the very thing we crave: connection. To stand in our corner a react to the world is certainly one pathway, one that can easily lead, as we shall see, to a fool on the hill syndrome.

Again, realizing that all permutations of emotions have two distinct sides, we are purposely using the negative side as it is most common and isolating.

You can know you are in disgust as it has such a physical component that it is obvious: a wrinkling up of the nose, a protruding tongue, a body repelling and contracting, a sound of yuck. From the point of disgust we become prone to judgment whenever we experience anything similar again. The judgement serves to protect our citadel of self from the perceived lower vibrational world. The classic element of judgement is that it most often the recognition of out of touch personal flaws being seen in others. Don’t you just love how the design keeps sneaking these ways into our moments of living giving opportunity to get clear and become transparent and whole.

Disgust and judgement combine to protect us, or so it seems. Hiding our head in the sand serves little except allow us to continue the personal charade of who we think we are. The swallowed and stored emotional debris that put this perspective in place are only reinforced by such behavior and eventually steer us in the direction of some very intense, hard emotional nuances that can have sweeping and dire circumstances.

Next comes contempt, which is an insidious energy that marshals aggressive and protective energies to be directed toward a designated target. This is rarely done in a clear and public way, but rather functions most effectively in the shadows of anonymity. The professional critic is the first expression of this energy. Too often the critic spreads venomous, negative dispersions at the subject from the safety of an audience or a keyboard, having never met them to have any direct experience that might give them sway on their opinions. Certainly not all critics are coming from this place, but I can bet there are a large number who are severely wounded and have stored way too much toxicity.

The current form of social media has become a pit of vipers where anyone can say anything. The wounded have a voice suddenly and in deference to the amount of anger and frustration stored in the masses, it ain’t pretty. Slanderous comments that are the grounds for libel if done publicly are tossed around casually with often devastating consequences to the recipient. On one hand the movement of the energy in these perpetrators is a positive thing that will hopefully lead them to an awakening that lifts them beyond their tactics. On the other hand this is pushing walls between people, compromising one’s desire to be publicly seen, redirecting career aspirations, shattering dreams.

Contempt, along with its predecessors, disgust and judgment, is too often the visceral response of too much stored anger and resentment. Yes, it likely feels good to lash out against the world, demeaning others like one has been so demeaned. Yet, it is shallow and empty in the long run and again, only serves to isolate one where the woundings will amplify their push for release.

When all of this leads to the energy of hatred the walls become a fortress that can internally justify any action. From a broken moral compass the hater can feel righteous in their attacks, even gaining wounded allies who share the same perspective, and wounds. The energetic alliance can become a movement. It seeds racism, classism, terrorism, and wars. The hatred becomes a doctrine and sets cultural paradigms…all because someone has not cleared their own cesspool of the unexpressed. Yes, it can be that simple. The unloved become the unloving. Anything can be justified and there are enough similarities in human woundings that one can easily get a posse together to become anonymous vigilantes, out to save the world from all that does not align with their beliefs and doctrines.

The seeds of discontent, the desire for revenge, the finely manicured hatred are too often established through the moments of living of the child. The wounds take root and in the name of survival the child, who cannot really yet see the big picture, makes decisions on how to be…and often, there methods become biblical…an eye for an eye.

The need for an understanding of emotion and its variations is obvious. This is the stuff for education, especially in the early years. Establishing a working capacity to embrace the flow and release of all emotions is primary curriculum for all humanity. Just imagine the consequences of a clean humanity. In this world Love would reign.

And yes, as always, Love is underneath all of the forms of life, forcing its way through the backdoor, from the toxic ponds of stored wounds, from the deep visceral hurts contained in the tender tissues of you and me…into the inner knowing first. It’s caring hands hold us back, most often from the unthinkable, from crossing that one last line that holds so many consequences. Yes, the undercurrent of the foundational Love frequency tempers our extremes and keeps leading us back to our heart center where we are bound to remember who we are and wake up from the personal and collective nightmares we have perpetrated lifetime after lifetime.

Be that as it may…the solution is at hand. The Universe has commanded and instigated the great intervention. We are each living it right now. Choose freedom…you do not want to choose the other anymore…just sayin’…

Guilt

We are born, we experience the moments. Things happen. We react and we respond. Our design is compromised. We do what is necessary to survive. We make uninformed and necessary decisions and then live out the consequences until further notice, which historically has not come. So, up until now we have this paradigm in place. We do things and there are natural consequences. We get so filled up with the unexpressed debris that we gradually forget our true capacity to be Love in action. We slip into bastardizations of ourselves, a hodge podge of the faulty decisions and actions. We forget to connect and isolate where we plan our attacks and set our intentions…

And all the while our true design tugs at our being to remember who we are. Confusing, yes…impossible, no. To reach the place where we are given the second chance at being us we have to find the balance which then opens up the receptivity necessary to step into the libraries that hold the blueprint for each of us. The journey is messy..for as long as it is.

A Course in Miracles declares that there is Love or Fear. Anything that is not Love is in the fear frequency. Simple, yes. Replace fear with Love and the world shifts in grand ways. To do so is a journey. Yes, even in these supported times of great expansion and remembering.

Life happens. We participate in the events and experiences called to us by a Higher Self and a specific set of intentional plans laid at our feet at the incarnation point. And, all the while, because of the laws of the dimension that demand free will, we oscillate and wander and lose our way and misplace the plan. It is what we signed up for, honestly. The great adventure is exactly that, unpredictable, wandering, devastatingly beautiful, and worth the price of admission.

Sometimes we do things we are hesitant to do but they seem like a good idea at the time. They initiate consequences that we either own and take responsibility for…or we don’t. When we do not we activate a nuance emotion called guilt. Guilt is a conscience call that we kind of don’t listen to. When we do what we do we can feel shame, a frequency that is in contradiction to not only who we think we are, but actually, who we truly are. Guilt is like frozen shame, infused with fear. The fear is the component that plays with us. Like a child/parent relationship in some ways. The child knows that there are limitations and rules, yet they do things anyway…perhaps just to see what might happen, or because it feels so good to be bad, or because they need to test the waters of limits and see what their parents are really made of…

Guilt, because it sits around pulling and pushing, like the angel and the devil on opposite shoulders, plays with us. We keep being called to keep doing the forbidden, because we are afraid of the consequences, kind of. We are internally divided and split. And, likely in an internal mess. We do it again because it takes away, to a degree, the very fear that is brought up by the action.

There is a feeling in the viscera of the trunk, a stirring in the chakras to own up to our choices and take responsibility. The choice is to listen or not. When we listen to the calling we take responsibility and own our choices and actions and sit in the consequences. Or we do not and then put into motion more dances with the object of our guilt for as long as we choose. Infidelity unexposed leads to more infidelity. The faces may change but the action is the same, the cost is the same. Guilt eats away at tissue. Eventually the decay forces us to face the shame that lies underneath…or not.

We punish ourselves with the feelings of guilt. Then we soften the punishment by doing it again, as if we believe the punishment is enough to warrant a repeat. We have been punished enough for now. So let’s do something so we can beat ourselves up. It is such a guilty pleasure…until it is not. Remember the body can only hold so much before it initiates the cleansing mode.

The child has made mistakes along the way. Events have occurred that the child may not be proud of. Choices were made that are shadowy and feel crappy. Yet there is hesitancy to bring them to the Light. This is where the adult can assist. Creating the nurturing and trusting relationship will lead towards the willingness of the child self to come clean and go into the depths of the choices to reveal the source…the shame that lies at the root of all guilt. Out of the pit comes the first strains of remorse and accountability. Owning choices is powerful. This is what the journey is about, making choices, making mistakes, making changes, owning the choices, adjusting…on and on.

Allowing this process is aligning with the Love frequency again. No one is so hardened that Love cannot break through. No one…

Jealousy

Our own sense of value and esteem has been a work in progress since the days in the womb. The energetic influence of the moments of living and the players involved have combined to establish a sense of self. We see ourselves as we have learned to do. Likely it is not accurate at all. But it is a benchmark upon which we can move forward and inward.

When we hold a diminished view of our self, devaluing our capacities and lovability, we set the stage for potential disasters. We are taught to seek relationship for the purpose of making ourselves whole. Finding our soul mate is a billion dollar business. Thus we put so much emphasis on a relationship working. Yet, too often we attract potential partners at the vibrational level of where we are.

The connection is a higher self directed meeting that brings us the best opportunity to see ourselves more clearly. We are taught, however, to put a lot of stock in the success of the relationship, often at the expense of the very things that truly honor and take care of us.

Society perpetuates relationship stereotypes…”Can’t live if living is without you”. Relationships become personal investments that are akin to possessions. Our well being aligns with not only how they treat us but also how we think we are being treated. Often these are in conflict. The relationship builds a dynamic that defines it and makes it comfortable. Anything that sways out of the routine becomes a threat.

The pressure to make the relationship work, along with the stress for each to be everything for the other often leads to chaos. The chaos is the inner attempt to shift the energy, let go of the patterns to allow a new frequency to take hold. Too often these are interpreted as threats and the old wounded self gets activated.

A Common way for relationships to divert is through infidelity. Though clandestine for a while, the likelihood of discovery is high because, in some ways, the point of the infidelity is to stir the pot to shift it to something better. More frequently the partner who is being betrayed is activated and overcome with the sweeping energies of jealousy.

Let the games begin. Jealousy is like anger in that it is swiftly moving and often aggressive and pointed and blinding. The injured party seeks to take action and punish. It is ugly. You can see how it is fueled by the past woundings and the ignorings and the disappointments and the failures….

There is anger and fear embedded in jealousy. Personal boundaries have been impacted. One’s sense of self has been compromised and a host of fill in responses are rushing to shore up the walls.

The task before you is to accept the feelings and allow the flow of the energetic responses while choosing to hold back from rushing out to attack the source or the self. Information is a key element as one must gather the facts about what is really going on, getting the bigger picture that often has relevant perspectives not considered in the initial outburst. Often the perception of the feeling is accurate but it places one in a difficult place that can threaten the relationship or one’s personal integrity.

Allowing the movement and expression of jealousy is actually a way to consciously clear old wounds and perspectives. It must be done with clarity and a deeper sense of courage. Ideally two who are capable of communicating is best. Share and listen, listen and share…

To discern between legitimate relationship threats and the rise of one’s insecurity and sense of unworthiness in the relationship is what is required here.

Channel the energy of jealousy out of you and into your boundary. This is useful to allow you a sense of protected space and it diminishes the likely surge of anger. From here you can then access the fear based elements and discern their source and move into resolution. This action strengthens you and opens the door for more powerful communication. Look for other times of betrayal that may be feeding this one. Notice how it leaves you feeling. Discern what must be healed within you. Share this with your partner.

Likely this kind of transparency will help both of you as the perpetrator is quite possibly dealing with similar esteem issues. Healing can happen in a moment if allowed.

Repressing the feeling energy, as we have seen, is just an invitation to the blues.

So, be consciously aware of the movement of the feeling from start to finish. There is a lot of information riding the wave of the first expressions. Access it and use the event to make significant inner changes that bring you to a clearer place.  In and through is the formula for dealing with this and any other strong emotion. Apply it and grow the capacity to be fully present and alive…and fun to be around.

Collective Overwhelm

A good portion of the civilized world is carrying an energy called collective overwhelm. There is excessive stimulation, massive information overload, unrelenting pressure, and dread-infused numbing. A good portion of our energetic resources are depleted and the adrenals are taxed as we do our best to keep our head above the water of the deluge of demands.

Money, relationships, health, work, play, war, religious dogma, fear based rhetoric, laws and injustice, politics, global warming, death,  the news, the cultural inequalities, the social chaos, the conflict, the racism, the legal system, the TSA, the government, alien invasion, the end of the world….on and on the landslide washes over, around, and into us. And since most feel it, yes, even the so-called privileged, it is considered a collective energetic. We are under the influence 24/7…even when we choose to take a vacation.

It is, as we have seen earlier, primarily fear and anger based, each being chronic. We fear for our survival and we are angry that we seem so powerless and controlled. The cycle feeds itself and perpetuates the collective belief that only strengthens its inner and outer impact upon us. We become drained and scattered and oscillate between anxiety, angst, dread, irritation, frustration, hostility and rage. Far too many are simply exhausted from the seemingly endless burden. It is the source of much depression, anxiety, addiction, the scourge of pharmaceuticals…too many are just giving up.

It is there and it is , for now, constant. What to do?

The first step, like always, is awareness. Rather than looking for personal fault and source for our litany of ailments and conditions, we can begin to realize that much is the collective external energy infiltrating our energetic boundary system. In the state of overwhelm it is hard to see the alternatives. And, yet, there are always solutions…often existing above the level of the opportunity.

Knowing that it comes from so many observable sources we can choose to stop aligning with the collective perspectives, beliefs, and behaviors. There are alternative responses. We can cease taking responsibility for the collective and focus on our own self care. One step by one step until we enter a new state, a new frequency. Pay attention. Notice the body and its responses to moments. Breathe and look for connections to your own past. Notice how some things are more impactful to you. Step out of your patterned response and set alternative strategies that can be applied, adjusted, and then reapplied. Sooner than later you can begin to separate from the collective overwhelm, jettisoning the elements that you can.

The lightened load will begin to reveal new perspectives and companion experiences that affirm life and the dimensional beauty. Still functioning in the culture you are simply not overwhelmed by the things and their energy which you cannot control. You find that the moment gives you your launching pad to the next. You turn away from the conditioned influences, the evening news, the organized religious dogma, low frequency friends, ignorance, mass consumption, debt, living uninformed about the inner world and your true power and capacity.

The moments become softer and more flowing. You soon find that so much simply does not matter. Simple things become gratifying and desirable. This is the life you were meant for…not the one that is thrashing to hold on in these remarkable times of change.

Leave it all behind…yes, leave it all behind…and rediscover the deeper you that has been patiently awaiting your turning away and seeing the infinite beauty that is all around. It is a beautiful world

Shame

Some consider shame an emotion. I see it as the result of the consistent withholding of the energy of life’s moments. It is the self inflicted wound of one who does not believe in herself, who sees himself as having no value,  who has collapsed under the weight of the unexpressed. When the energies are held they morph into shame which then makes manifest the inner critic to oversee the self flagellation.

Under the formidable weight of sometimes scathing self abuse we can easily send out an invitation to the cosmos to provide more of the same through situations and people. We can also take that pool of lower frequency and send it out to others in our lives by attacking and shaming those around us in an aggressive, unclean way. The energy and the dynamic are insidious and damaging on deep levels to all involved. Yet, it can be moved into and through to find a place of center and clear choice within it.

Shame is the result of intentional energy being directed at us, sometimes purposefully, and sometimes, the more the pool of shame grows, inadvertently. Shame is often the result of a mistake, or uninformed choice, that is witnessed publicly. We feel exposed as defective, like something is wrong with us. Shaming action from the outside is embarrassing, cruel, mortifying, destructive. It is not behavior centered, though triggered by that. It is directed at our being, at who we are.

And since so many of us are already damaged goods from our early years, we take it on and infuse it before we even realize it. Then , we just go about beating ourselves up, finding fault with ourselves, blaming ourselves, seeing ourselves as weak and incapable. It is a vicious cycle that can be devastating and borderline permanent. That is, until we choose differently.

Shame is often perpetuated by self abuse, self compromise, and self-defeating thoughts and actions. We seek to justify the belief and filter our experiences through the jaded interpretation over and over. We massage and grow the inner critic to watch over over every thought, word, and deed, to tell us how f’d up we are. Until we don’t….

We can engage ourselves in shameful behavior to keep doing the “I told you I was defective” dance. We can take the shame out on others, becoming very proficient at shaming them publicly through our witty observations or our put downs, always focusing on them rather than their behavior. And sure, that feels good to the shamed one for awhile…until it doesn’t.

We are designed with a conscience that has the capacity to pierce the illusions we have fabricated into belief and action to give us that necessary and critical glimpse of who and what we really are. Thus shame, in a healthy way, can actually be a pathway into remembering who we are. In these glorious times of fastly evolving transparency and more accurate self-awareness we are actually having the misguided view of self dismantled, though not without a messy bunch of experiences…all necessary to increase our personal accountability to self. Nothing like being force fed the truth.

Bottom line is that we are all good people, direct reflections of the Cosmic Source model. The learnings and the distractions are what they are , providing material to work with, misinformation to weed through, choices to make, and journeys of reclamation and reawakening to be embarked upon.

Shame, though often deeply entrenched in belief and tissue, can be brought to the light of day. The research I have done often says that some of these reservoirs may not ever be processed to regain clarity. I do not know about that. I do know that the more I get clear and release the emotion as it happens, supporting the additional energies that attach to the release, the clearer I become. This clarity translates into living more in a peaceful moment, unencumbered by washes of the past debris. Mistakes are still made, yet they are seen for what they are and learned from. In some ways, this is one of life’s miracles, climbing out of the pen of the past to stand in the infinite possibility of the glorious Now.

Like all of these nuances, the journey of release and clarity begins with information about them and the awareness that can then recognize when they arise. Getting to know the boy intimately is paramount. Knowing the sensations by location and texture allows the proper identification of the emotion. Understanding the nature of the feeling defers the tendency to jump onto the runaway train and step back to choose a healthy alternative.

Notice when shame happens. Step right into it. Determine its source. Look for the tendrils to the past. GO there. Be gentle and loving and forgiving. Know that you can choose self care over self abuse. Know, also, that it can be a winding journey, depending upon the severity of the debris. Consider that the Cosmos wants us to be in bliss-land more often, riding the fantastic roller coaster of emotional flow. The way through it is to go directly into it. Choosing that as your mantra can lead you to your own personal Shangri-la, where the best of you lives in the free flow of the life well chosen.

Behavioral Indicators and a Sample Solution

Feelings and beliefs that cultivate and encourage dysfunction, co-dependency and/or addictions. All are a result of early conditioning so there is no judgment or blame about them. Taken from the book, Feelings Buried Alive Never Die, by Karol K. Truman

1. Judges self harshly.

2. Fears criticism and judgment, but driven to be critical and judgmental of others.

3. Feels a sense of urgency; impulsive; impatient; compelled to seek immediate rather than delayed gratification.

4. Fears failure but unconsciously sabotages own success.

5. Fears disapproval and rejection, so unknowingly creates characteristics acceptable to others.

6. Fears commitment.

7. Feels inadequate/ low self-esteem. Sometimes has to compensate by appearing superior.

8. Fears discovery of real self will cause rejection.

9. Fears intimacy. Unable to form close, loving, intimate relationships.

10. Fears loving and being loved.

11. Fears dependency on anyone or anything, yet are dependent personalities.

12. Fears abandonment but compelled to become involved with compulsive personalities that play out this fear.

13. Frightened of angry people.

14. Afraid to trust due to lack of trust in self.

15. Afraid to reveal inner secrets for fear of rejection or disapproval. 16. Afraid of people and authority figures.

17. Feels different/ separated from others due to own feelings, which leads to depression. Isolates self. 18. Assumes responsibility for others’ feelings and behavior.

19. Grieves for the family they never had.

20. Unable to identify or ask for own wants and needs. Unconsciously denies them, for experience has taught that they will not be met.

21. Feels guilty when standing up for self, therefore has to give in to others.

22. Unable to feel or express true feelings as adults, because to feel at all is unbearably painful. In “denial.”

23. Unknowingly driven to build up barriers to protect self from own insecurities.

24. Unable or doesn’t know how to let go, relax, play or have fun.

25. Learns to criticize and blame self and others.

26. Has to make excuses for others’ weaknesses; has unreasonable expectations of self and others.

27. Tries to find own identity in doing things, but finds it difficult to accept honest praise.

28. Desperately wants control and yet over-reacts to changes they can’t control.

29. Continually seeks outside approval by doing.

30. Takes things literally; it’s either right or wrong, black or white.

31. Takes self very seriously.

32. Distorted sense of responsibility. Concerned more for others than self. (Keeps one from the pain of looking too closely at self and own problems.)

33. Tends to repeat relationship patterns.

34. Has a need to help and seeks people who are victims. Are attracted by that weakness in love and friendship relationships.

35. Doesn’t know self or innate rights. Doesn’t realize it’s all right to make mistakes.

36. Craves validation of self-worth from others, not received as child.

37. Extremely loyal, even when loyalty is unjustified or even harmful. 38. Guesses at what normal or appropriate is. 39. Tends to be a perfectionist. 40. Unable to trust loved ones, authority figures or peers.

Sample script to use with clearing the above.

Spirit, please locate the origin of my feeling guilty when I stand up for myself. Take each and every level, layer, area and aspect of my Be-ing to this origin. Analyze and resolve it perfectly, with God’s truth. Come through all generations of time and eternity healing every incident and its appendages based on the origin. Do it according to God’s will until I’m at the present, filled with light and truth, God’s peace and love, forgiveness of myself for my incorrect perceptions; forgiveness of every person, place, circumstance and event which contributed to this feeling. With total forgiveness and unconditional love I allow every physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual problem, and inappropriate behavior based on the negative origin recorded in my DNA, to transform. I choose standing up for myself. I feel perfectly within my rights when I stand up for myself. I am standing up for myself. I choose coming to my own defense. I feel to defend myself whenever necessary. I am defending myself. I feel confident that I am a worthwhile human Being and I deserve to come to my own defense. I feel peace of mind each time I do.

Truman, Karol K.. Feelings Buried Alive Never Die (Kindle Locations 2478-2483). Olympus Publishing. Kindle Edition.