It was October 25, 2016 when I first birthed the idea of the next facilitated course, Living As If Already Whole. I wanted to see if we could put into action and into life these ideas that had started to come forth in the course, Tools for the Times.

At the time, I had been doing some research on Sacred Geometry and had just purchased some tuning forks based on the Fibonacci Series, a mathematical series of adding two successive numbers to create a third in a quickly expanding sequence…1,1,2,3,5,8,13,…I knew it was the framework that would hold a particular exponential frequency that would feed the information that was to come.

1 and 1 were to be the introduction to each session. The 2 and 3 would consist of 5 subcategories of relevant ideas/skills that would be directly expansive and applicable to those on the journey. Those five were: Personal Care and Empowerment, Expanding New Life Skills, Contact and Guidance, Embracing and Integrating the World Community, and Celestial Design. It was important to put the ideas into action ASAP and thus, in the early days, these elements were critical. They were to be made of 7 topics with 7 main expanded points in each.

The 5 in the Fibonacci Series was the pictures that would be expressions of the topic. The 8 became the Session Actions where each major topic was to be explored in depth with information and activity. The 13 was to be relevant Expansion Activity tools necessary for the prepared traveler, consisting of: Grounding,Energy Work, Chakra Care, Tuning Fork Therapy, Mantra/Chant Support, Color Therapy, Aroma Therapy, Mineral Therapy, Sound Alchemy, Guided Journeys, Empowerments, Gratitude Practices, Receiving Cosmic Gifts. As you can see, each of these elements could be developed into a separate course…and indeed, that is how I am intending to structure the printed and E-Book versions that will appear in 2021.

As if this wasn’t enough, I added some Extras that included one time essays that would become useful tools: The Amazing Human Body, Navigating Transitions, Leaving the Comfort Zone, The Daily Restart, Get Moving Now, Inner Communication in the Silence. Add to that the ongoing Message of the Week, Journal Suggestions, Session Glossary, The Awakened Medicine Bag, Spoken Words of Power, Foundation Elements, a Session Inspiration Statement, a Blog, an Ongoing Variety of Alchemical Experiences, and the recording of the Session Topic Song.

Good grief! What was I thinking?!?! I wasn’t…I was following guidance. The moment I opened the door and said of course I will create the course, the flood of ideas began. In Celestial talk there is no such thing as limitation or too much work for we are designed for a significant and profound capacity to flow in all directions. However, while still at the frequency level of Oct of 2016 this was a monumental task, to say the least.

But, given that and the excitement I was feeling I began to create one section at a time. And, at the same time, I started to make public the upcoming course, to start attracting the travelers who would accompany the spontaneous and collective journey that was laying itself out.It was my intention at the time to attract a large number of people who would be willing to embark on such a monumental adventure. And, to be honest, I also intended it to be a financial resource that would afford me the income to devote the time to the creation of each session. I priced it to attract. I under priced it in truth and would have been better served by making it an ongoing subscription so that I could be supported along the way instead of just up front. Live and learn…

I created the course and had two complete sessions active when we started I believe around the first of the year, 2017. When we did our first individual session (that’s another thing that proved to be stressful since I talked to each person once a week to mentor their movement through the course) there were seven fellow travelers and me, making 8. All the travelers, except me, were women. And as this was a decidedly Aquarian course that was being born, it was entirely appropriate that it was so. I provided the energetic of the male and proceeded to hold space during each week’s revelation.

Remember that the course was designed to spend two weeks with each topic, one with the introduction and the second filled with relevant activities to put the information into action. It took two whole days, typically, to put each week’s session into form. As I had already developed a comfort level with creating under the influence of the approaching deadline I used Sunday and Monday usually to do the writing.

In a short time I began to feel the weight of this chosen undertaking. I still had to travel to make my musical living. I often was creating the sessions on the road. It became more and more stressful to keep up with the scope of the original vision. I thoroughly enjoyed the individual sessions with each of the seven and I cherished the creation time as I felt vibrant and alive and rode a cutting edge wave it seemed.

By session 9 I realized that I could not keep up. After session nine, which reflects completion there comes the 10 or the one, a new beginning was needed. I used that energy to restructure the course. I took away the 5  and the 13, the sub topics and the Energetic Tools and made them an available but inconsistent part of the course. The structure changed to 1, 1, 5, 8.  It further evolved, due to the input that this was too much to keep up with from the travelers. I took away the bi weekly new topic and stretched out to a topic per month. Immediately, we all felt relief and renewed commitment, or so it seemed.

When one walks an edge that is infused with new perspectives that directly contradict the way we have been then resistance is inevitable. I am not saying anything about the travelers because I was feeling it as well. But one by one I started having people say they were choosing not to continue. I understood…and I felt disappointment and had to wrestle with feelings of failure.

I knew in my heart the validity of the information and the relevance of the activities and the necessary adjustments were making a difference in the energetic lives of us all. And it was surely influencing the collective energetics of the planet. As a teacher in elementary school we always had to over prepare in anticipation of the unexpected as well as the variety of learning styles and levels of the children. In this course I certainly over prepared and included way too much. But I was committed to the process and was committed to seeing into full fruition, even if it was just me involved. I felt that perhaps I had not delivered to those who signed on originally, and though several of the participants were gifted in appreciation for all they had done for me and my music and writings before, others had paid a lot of money to be involved. I felt that I had let them down, even though each expressed the value of the course and owned their choice to let go the journey.

Still, I had to wrestle with the outcome. It took some time to feel in balance with what I was doing and had done. In fact, it was actually very positive that each felt empowered to make their decision. I believe that they learned what they needed to learn. We all reach a point when we are internally invited to shift energy, or a point when we are up against a deeper element that we may not be ready to walk into and through, or simply lose interest in what is going on, or feel overwhelmed…I understand and I bless with gratitude the choices each made to take care of themselves.

By the time we reached the Third Block of sessions starting with 12: Reclaiming Right Livelihood, our travelers were down to one plus me. And I must say that I am so grateful that one was there, fully committed, for it gave me a reason to continue and do the next thing. And even though, in the big picture, I was creating this all for me and my own personal reclamation of self, it was a supreme motivator to have to keep showing up for the one who was still traveling…thank you, Susan.

The journey has refined me. It has exposed the wounds and misinterpretations and the patterns that had me stumbling through this incarnation. It has given me the tools of information and action to willingly make changes in the parts of me that were no longer useful or relevant. For that I am so very grateful.

That it has served in any way the remembering of true self for any of the seven who went for as long as they chose means a great deal to me and for that I am very grateful as well.

I am grateful to my own self for the willingness to take on the charge and put into form the ideas and the actions that I believe can and will continue to transform the misinformation that resides in us to allow us to blossom and thrive in the higher and true frequency that defines us one and all.

Now, here, on the threshold of the ending and the beginning I reflect and put into words this journey we have taken, from my own perspective.